300 Aides to the Rescue

WASHINGTON — Every day around 8 a.m., foreign policy aides at Senator Barack Obama’s Chicago campaign headquarters send him two e-mails: a briefing on major world developments over the previous 24 hours and a set of questions, accompanied by suggested answers, that the candidate is likely to be asked about international relations during the day.

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I think if I were getting 2 emails in the morning from 50 people briefing me on what's going on around the world, not to mention what to say - I probably could be president of the country too. At the very least the Mayor. Chicago Funnies is not taking anything away from Obama, nor any other former or current President, it just seems like that's a lot of help.

A source close to Barack Obama says that the Senator deletes half of those emails and just logs onto Chicago Funnies (that source couldn't be verified - funny?).

Do you think that is too many president aides?

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CF

Jesse Jackson says the "n-word"

It has been reported that Jesse Jackson (civil rights activist) during his recent outburst on Bill O'Reilly show against Barack Obama actually said the N-word (nigger). He wasn't calling Obama a "aggin" but was referring to African Americans. This is truly sad and inappropriate coming from a community leader.

Hip hop and rap artist get a hard time for excessive use of the "n-word" sometimes from community activist like Jesse Jackson, thus making it kind of weird for Jesse's statements (not funny).

[This taken from Fox News]:

O'Reilly let out the first bit of the quote last week. As Jackson waited to appear on another Fox program, he whispered to a fellow guest that he was annoyed with Obama for statements Obama was making at African-American churches.

"I want to cut his nuts off," Jackson whispered, making a sharp motion with his right hand.
Jackson's alleged use of the n-word is ironic because Jackson has called on African Americans not to use it.

After "Seinfeld" actor Michael Richards' racist rant in a comedy club two years ago, Jackson said on Fox and in his Chicago Sun-Times column that the n-word is a "hate word ... it's a punch in the groin disguised as a word. ... It is divisive, it is painful. One cannot sanitize this. So whether it is degrading or self-degrading, whether it is hate or self-hate, it is wrong."

[End FN Excerpt]

It's just wrong to say in public - it you use it in your closet, off air, or when you think you're off air it is "a-okay (FUNNY)." Just like everything else in life - be a crook in secret but smile and kiss the babies in public, fight for the working man on camera, promise big, fulfill nothing, and guess what...no body will ever know. Or will they?

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Chicago Funnies

Does a President's Age Matter?

Reports lately of McCain's age being higher than marijuana smokers - and Barack Obama still being wet behind the ears has surfaced as a major issue, ranking right up there with their remedy for the nation's economy problem and the war conflicts.

True, at times McCain looks so old that you would think he will fall over dead at any moment. But that can happen to anyone (higher risk for age 70 and above). Nevertheless, his doctors must have given him the okay to run for office. Likewise, Obama barely old enough to have his driving permit, but he can speak so well (a white woman's dream - funny).

I truly don't think this is a detrimental topic for who to choose; however if McCain chooses MC Hammer for a running mate then his age will be a the biggest concern in America's history.




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ChicagoF

Eddie Murphy Joins US Army

YES, one time comedian and movie star has recently decided to join the army and has started immediately. Eddie Murphy, star of his new movie Meet Dave, totally dropped a bomb on sales and reviews (funny).

Eddie Murphy's movie wasn't too hot this weekend and it may as well end his legendary career as it was on the ropes anyway. Oh no a right a left, there he goes.

The guy who has classics like "Coming to America" - can't go out like this - note to Eddie, Meet Dave was identical to like all of your other acts - losing your creativity, then take care of your child (sounds personal funny).

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LOS ANGELES (AP) Superheroes battling inner demons often rule the box office. This time, the superhero was a demon as "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" pulled in $35.9 million to debut as the No. 1 weekend film.

Eddie Murphy did not respond to calls immediately nor at all.

Chicago F

Prisoners Help Cops Find Movie Star- Thug

Here is some interesting news...

"Gomorra," the organized-crime film-tale that won rave reviews at Cannes in May, is helping the Italian police track down real criminals.

According to the Italian daily newspaper Corriere della Sera, the film was screened at a Naples prison where inmates in jail for activities related to the Gomorra -- Naples' version of the Mafia -- recognized one of their own among the film's cast.

This is where it gets interesting - The actor, credited in the film as Giovanno Venosa, who is reported to be a wanted organized crime figure with a passion for acting, ended up as part of the no-name cast that director Matteo Garrone selected for the film. He tried out in an open audition and won a role (not funny, but stupid).

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Police said they easily tracked him down and that he was placed in prison in the northern Italian city of Modena, near Bologna. We would normally say, "what a bozo" wanted and he goes on the big screen. Did he not know it's called a "BIG SCREEN."

But, the Chicago Funnies will shy away from name calling especially of mob figures.

"We would have never known Venosa was who we were looking for if he had not been recognized by the inmates who saw the film," a spokesman for the Carabinieri in Naples said in a telephone interview.

In the film, the character played by Venosa killed two teenagers. Police did not say which crime he has been accused of in real life. He basically gave them the "skinny" on what he did during his role in the mob (funny).

Don't we just love funny criminals...

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Chicago Funnies

Jesse Jackson just won't let us down...

In light of everything going on we find that Jesse Jackson is still jealous of Presidential hopeful Barack Obama for getting closer to the Oval Office than he.

While speaking to Reed Tuckson from the United Health Group, Reverend Jackson had some negative comments about Senator Obama's recent support for faith-based charities operating with government funds. Here is a part of what Jackson said.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REV. JESSE JACKSON: See, Barack's been, um, talking down to black people on this faith-based… I want to cut his (EXPLETIVE DELETED) off. Barack, he's talking down to black people.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

Now, no one has any idea why Jackson framed his comments that way. We invited the Jackson on Chicago Funnies Podcast program this evening. He declined.

What we don't understand is his apology. He was sorry, but he didn't know the microphone was still on. Like men apologize for being caught cheating and saying "I'm sorry, but I didn't know you would ever find out (not funny)."

It is okay to be upset over a stance someone takes but to say vulgar things about them and apologize that the microphone was on, is not good.

Will this hurt O'bama's campaign? Once again...

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Chicago Funnies

Most Stolen Car...May Surprise you

According to the Associated Press; and State Farm Insurance the reported number 1 stolen vehicle is the 1991 Honda Accord (The National Insurance Crime Bureau (NICB®).

Following the 1991 Honda Accord was the 1995 Honda Civic. This may surprise you as why these cars are most stolen and not your Mercedes Benz or BMW.

"Just because you have an inexpensive car doesn't mean you're safe from car theft," said NASCAR legend and AutoVantage spokesman Bobby Hamilton. "Next to your home, your car is probably your largest investment** -- be aware and protect it from theft."

We obviously see thieves are aware of the increasingly unbearable gas prices. We spoke to one thief who asked, "why steal a Hummer or BMW, I probably could only make it to the next gas station before surrendering to police or turning it into a foot race."

With gas prices hitting $4.80 in some areas of the country; even our countries worst are being hit by the high gas prices; being forced to steal gas efficient cars (funny).

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** We think it's funny that Bobby Hamilton thought it correct to say next to your home your car is your next biggest investment. A car in not an investment, I repeat, A CAR IS NOT AN INVESTMENT. The correct phrase is next to your home, your car is your next biggest purchase. C'mon Bobby...(not funny)!

Chicago Funnies

Man Jailed for Borrowing Library Books

What is the world coming to when you borrow library books and you get "the book."

A Denver man accused of checking out hundreds of books and DVDs from libraries around the Denver area and then trying to sell them will be doing all his library borrowing from now on behind bars; and I bet they will keep an eye on his this time (funny).

A Thomas Pilaar was sentenced to 10 years in prison and ordered Tuesday to pay $53,549 in restitution (I don't even think he made that much off the sells of the books).

He pleaded guilty in May.

Now the big question is what is the cafeteria talk about when they go around asking "what are you in for?" Thomas will be forced to reply, "I didn't return my library books." Fellow inmates will not say, "Shame on you Thomas," they will just take notes on it and keep in mind who they can pick on (Not going to be good in prison), especially when the guy before says, I killed with my bare hands", and the guy after says, I robbed three banks in my undies while high before choking my mom for not letting him sleep on the bottom bunk when I was a kid (OK not funny).

We at Chicago Funnies are starting to wonder if people even think at all before they do things? He will have lots of time to read.

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CFunnies