China-Man Nearly loses his "wee-wee"

Opening night of the Beijing Olympics, in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to masturbate. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole. Dude, it's called Johnson and Johnson's, it's called Vaseline, it's called KY-jelly (funny).

Who puts their 'wee-wee' in something that is not lubricated.

The man panicked and called the police to help him. I can't imagine the embarrassment and the pain. Watch the video here.

Chicago Funnies - Hong Kong Funnies actually (funny).

Nothing Funny Lately

It has been a couple days and there is simply nothing funny lately. Well, sure there is as millions have laughed over the last 49 hours, but nothing so funny that the infamous Chicago Funnies have decided to write. Please accept our patience.

No other publication comes out and plainly tells you they have nothing to write about except the Chicago Funnies (still not funny).


I'm Randall Watson reporting
Chicago Funnies

4 Year Slump in Workforce

The economy as we all know is taking a huge hit - the gas prices, the war, and the joblessness. Employment continued to fall in construction, manufacturing, and several service-providing industries,while health care and mining continued to add jobs.

The nation’s unemployment rate climbed to a four-year high of 5.7 percent in July as employers cut 51,000 jobs, dashing the hopes of an influx of youth & teens looking for summer work.

Payroll cuts weren’t as deep as the 72,000 predicted by economists, however, job losses for both May and June were smaller than previously reported. "July’s reductions marked the seventh straight month where employers eliminated jobs. The economy has lost a total of 463,00 jobs so far this year.

The biggest irony of it is that, with gas prices so high; I've heard people complain they can barely afford to go find work (not funny). It's not good to have something bad 4 years straight. More bad news is that it isn't going to get better any time soon.

All told, there were 8.8 million unemployed people in July, up from 7.1 million last year. The jobless rate last July stood at 4.7 percent. More job cuts are expected in coming months.

Chicago Funnies

Randall Watson