Friday, July 11, 2008

Prisoners Help Cops Find Movie Star- Thug

Here is some interesting news...

"Gomorra," the organized-crime film-tale that won rave reviews at Cannes in May, is helping the Italian police track down real criminals.
According to the Italian daily newspaper Corriere della Sera, the film was screened at a Naples prison where inmates in jail for activities related to the Gomorra -- Naples' version of the Mafia -- recognized one of their own among the film's cast.

This is where it gets interesting - The actor, credited in the film as Giovanno Venosa, who is reported to be a wanted organized crime figure with a passion for acting, ended up as part of the no-name cast that director Matteo Garrone selected for the film. He tried out in an open audition and won a role (not funny, but stupid).


Police said they easily tracked him down and that he was placed in prison in the northern Italian city of Modena, near Bologna. We would normally say, "what a bozo" wanted and he goes on the big screen. Did he not know it's called a "BIG SCREEN."

But, the Chicago Funnies will shy away from name calling especially of mob figures.

"We would have never known Venosa was who we were looking for if he had not been recognized by the inmates who saw the film," a spokesman for the Carabinieri in Naples said in a telephone interview.
In the film, the character played by Venosa killed two teenagers. Police did not say which crime he has been accused of in real life. He basically gave them the "skinny" on what he did during his role in the mob (funny).

Don't we just love funny criminals...


Chicago Funnies

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Jesse Jackson just won't let us down...

In light of everything going on we find that Jesse Jackson is still jealous of Presidential hopeful Barack Obama for getting closer to the Oval Office than he.
While speaking to Reed Tuckson from the United Health Group, Reverend Jackson had some negative comments about Senator Obama's recent support for faith-based charities operating with government funds. Here is a part of what Jackson said.

REV. JESSE JACKSON: See, Barack's been, um, talking down to black people on this faith-based… I want to cut his (EXPLETIVE DELETED) off. Barack, he's talking down to black people.

Now, no one has any idea why Jackson framed his comments that way. We invited the Jackson on Chicago Funnies Podcast program this evening. He declined.

What we don't understand is his apology. He was sorry, but he didn't know the microphone was still on. Like men apologize for being caught cheating and saying "I'm sorry, but I didn't know you would ever find out (not funny)."

It is okay to be upset over a stance someone takes but to say vulgar things about them and apologize that the microphone was on, is not good.

Will this hurt O'bama's campaign? Once again...
Chicago Funnies

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Most Stolen Car...May Surprise you

According to the Associated Press; and State Farm Insurance the reported number 1 stolen vehicle is the 1991 Honda Accord (The National Insurance Crime Bureau (NICB®).

Following the 1991 Honda Accord was the 1995 Honda Civic. This may surprise you as why these cars are most stolen and not your Mercedes Benz or BMW.

"Just because you have an inexpensive car doesn't mean you're safe from car theft," said NASCAR legend and AutoVantage spokesman Bobby Hamilton. "Next to your home, your car is probably your largest investment** -- be aware and protect it from theft."

We obviously see thieves are aware of the increasingly unbearable gas prices. We spoke to one thief who asked, "why steal a Hummer or BMW, I probably could only make it to the next gas station before surrendering to police or turning it into a foot race."

With gas prices hitting $4.80 in some areas of the country; even our countries worst are being hit by the high gas prices; being forced to steal gas efficient cars (funny).

** We think it's funny that Bobby Hamilton thought it correct to say next to your home your car is your next biggest investment. A car in not an investment, I repeat, A CAR IS NOT AN INVESTMENT. The correct phrase is next to your home, your car is your next biggest purchase. C'mon Bobby...(not funny)!
Chicago Funnies

Man Jailed for Borrowing Library Books

What is the world coming to when you borrow library books and you get "the book."

A Denver man accused of checking out hundreds of books and DVDs from libraries around the Denver area and then trying to sell them will be doing all his library borrowing from now on behind bars; and I bet they will keep an eye on his this time (funny).

A Thomas Pilaar was sentenced to 10 years in prison and ordered Tuesday to pay $53,549 in restitution (I don't even think he made that much off the sells of the books).

He pleaded guilty in May.
Now the big question is what is the cafeteria talk about when they go around asking "what are you in for?" Thomas will be forced to reply, "I didn't return my library books." Fellow inmates will not say, "Shame on you Thomas," they will just take notes on it and keep in mind who they can pick on (Not going to be good in prison), especially when the guy before says, I killed with my bare hands", and the guy after says, I robbed three banks in my undies while high before choking my mom for not letting him sleep on the bottom bunk when I was a kid (OK not funny).

We at Chicago Funnies are starting to wonder if people even think at all before they do things? He will have lots of time to read.



Tuesday, July 8, 2008

80 Jobs Cut with the biggest scissors...

80 jobs with the Chicago Tribune will be cut (with the biggest scissors in the world) in the very near future. The Chicago Tribune is attempting to clear up 8.8 million dollars in salary room due to the lagging economy.

The Chicago Funnies will consider Chicago Tribune editors in need of making up volunteer hours only (not funny).

Employees were told that 55 or 60 layoffs will be made from the current total of 578 newsroom positions by the end of August (y'ouch). Twenty positions already are vacant.

Company representatives declined comment (I'm not surprised - brainstorming what to say to the associated press...oh that's them).

The latest round of cuts at the 161-year-old newspaper, one of the nation's largest, is painful but not unexpected. Once again, we're (CF) not yet hiring.


She want's half...of everything I own

Who is it this time?


The wife of New York Yankees baseball star Alex Rodriguez filed for divorce Monday morning in Florida's Miami-Dade County Family Court.

First Johnny Carson...and I remember the face Eddie Murphy said he had in the papers the next day when his wife filed a divorce claiming half of his fortune. So we want to keep the tradition of heart-break faces men make after their wives file divorce and they have no strong prenuptial agreement in place.

Giving half of $250M away (not funny).

Let's get married on the Moon

A couple is seeking to get married on the moon by 2011, following moves a recent couple whom married 62 miles above ground in a rocket-jet.

Now isn't this a bit too far. Standing on the moon and the pastor says, you may kiss the bride and you take off your helmet (forgetting where you are) and die (not funny). Or you you keep it on but since it's your first trip to the moon you don't know the velocity and you move forward to kiss and shatter the glass frame of the helmet and your oxygen-less body...well you get the picture.

I think adventure has to have a limit. The government should cast a limit on adventure. President Bush would probably veto it seeing they allow cigarette smoking; let's keep the imagination going. I'm going to renew my vows on the rings of Saturn or Neptune, which ever I have gas to reach (funny).

Chicago Funnies

Rose, early lunch for Beasley

In the NBA Orlando summer league, the Chicago Bulls played against the Miami Heat. Typically, this is no real big match up besides these two teams selecting the first and second picks of the NBA draft. The Bulls selecting Derrick Rose, and the Heat taking Michael Beasley.

The Bulls were no match for Beasley as he went on to a game high 28 points; while the number 1 draft pick had 5 turnovers (not funny). Rose didn't have much to say besides, "hey, it's not even pre-season yet."

Understandable; however don't let Chicago hold it's breath now. We really wanted to bring a guy named Michael back to the City. Now his last name is Beasley and not Jordan - but you get the picture. The Bulls lost 94 - 70, ouch!

Chicago shouldn't be disappointed yet; give it till the All-Star break before we hang our heads.
Do you think Chicago should have selected Beasley?



Monday, July 7, 2008

Arrange Marriage Ends in Murder

They say the big sin is showing someone light that have been confined to a dark room all their life. It becomes hard to go back to the dark room; or give them a Fred Sanford junk truck after they have driven a Mercedes Benz all their life. The same with keeping old customs and traditions that in your native country while exposing the new freedoms and liberties the United States present.

Arrange marriages are not law here and second generation children sometimes do not understand the culture after being exposed to so much freedom of choice and more. A man's daughter apparently did not like the arrange marriage situation and rebelled stating she did not want to remain married to the husband she was arranged to.

The father then choked her, in his anger, to death. What do we have now? A father who has to go to jail for murder (and room with big shoulder criminals who kill for fun (not funny)), a dead daughter, and a husband who is freed from his marriage contract.

Many countries still deal with the arrange marriage concept - it works because it has been going on for centuries. Should it be continued? Adam and Eve was an arranged marriage, however God picked and created the bride for Adam.

This is a sad story - when 'till death do us part' is not so great.


Chicago Funnies

Lady Wrongly sings National Anthem!

A singer asked to sing the national anthem, breaks out into singing the Black National Anthem instead shocking the room - and later shocking the nation.

The question is, "is she wrong?" Some from the black community suggest she is not wrong, while others say she is. She has yet to apologize.

Now I don't care what your agenda is; if you were asked to do something and you agreed to do it; then you go out and do something else; that is a breach of agreement and you are wrong.

So I guess the outrage from the "black community" (those who defend her), is that people would not be angry if she had sung "God bless America," instead of the black national anthem.

People, do not defend foolishness (not funny, not cool). If she had sung the national anthem, and then continued to sing her rendition of the "black national anthem," perhaps not as much frustration from the citizens of Denver and the US.

Is she wrong - comment below.


SuperSonics Moving

Seattle Supersonics will be moving from Seattle to Oklahoma City. Over the years owners finally realized their team was depressed over the raining weather it called mentally and have decided to move.

Why do NBA teams move to Oklahoma City? New Orleans moved temporarily there shortly after hurricane Katrina blew open their arena and destroyed the town forcing a temporary departure. I have to go to Oklahoma to find out what kind of basketball they have there.

We may change this from Chicago Funnies to Oklahoma City Funnies (not funny).


Chicago funnies

We still love the Taste of Chicago

CHiCAGO - We still love food; we still love the Taste of Chicago as more than 3.5 million visitors attended the annual event in Chicago. This is in spite of high gas prices (the gas prices), funny looking economy ($$ numbers), and even a couple of shootings that had even the police dodging for cover with hot-dogs in hand (funny).

It's been 27 years of the 10-day event, which ended on SUNday. A spokeswoman from the Mayor's Special Events office noted people were not "deterred" by the weekend violence that wounded five people, killing one.

Even in the day light (Saturday morning) one was wounded. This shows we love the Taste of Chicago here and that we love food, especially the food the City has. Cheers to all the vendors.



Sunday, July 6, 2008

Religion and Presidents

In recent times religion has played a special role in selecting a president. I'm curious why is it a big factor in a country that has freedom of religion?
Well one thing is if I believe in Allah, it would make sense to elect someone who shares that same belief. Likewise if I am a Christian, having someone with like belief will make my life better with that person in office.
So why is it just as important as the economy? Because belief is what drives every individual. We took a look at past presidents to see which religions we've had in office.
Pew preferences
Here's a breakdown of presidents by denomination:
• Episcopalian: 11 presidents
• Presbyterian: 10
• Methodist: 5
• Baptist: 4
• Unitarian: 4
• Disciples of Christ: 3
• Reformed: 2
• Quaker: 2
• Catholic: 1
• Congregationalist: 2
Epsicopalian seem to run the show along with Presbyterians, after that Methodist, and then Baptist (Bill Clinton). So in all this, the faiths of McCain and O'bama lead to McCain getting the presidential nomination because he was raised Epsicopalian and later converted Baptist.
The list of past presidents religious affiliations are all different sects of Christianity. So, then whos 'sheep-skin' is authentic; in other words whos form of christianity is valid (not funny)?
Church and state are not as separate as it use to be. What do you think?
Chicago funnies